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Thursday, August 5, 2010

Can't dance

"I can't dance!"
I scream at the stars
"You must"
They reply

I cannot dance
I don't know the tune
I've never known dance with abandon
Yet I want it
I need it
Need to know that peace
Peace with my body
Peace with my soul
Graceful as a bellydancer
Fluid and sweet
Like a ritual
Like heat
In my icy insides
Suffocated by the past
It eats away
My body, mind, soul
What will be left?
When the feast is through?
Demon teeth
Fangs cutting through
Like razor blades
Question all I know and care about
& future is an omnipresent glare
I will be nobody, nothing
So I wait
I remember the scars, the bleeding
Razors through my skin
The words cut me
So I cut myself
So hard
Inside the veil of life
All I saw was red
I wished I was dead 
I hope one day I will realize something beautiful
Within this protective shell
Of insecurity
Oh my Goddess
I need to dance!

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