Can't dance

"I can't dance!"

I scream at the stars

"You must"

They reply

I cannot dance

I don't know the tune

I've never known dance with abandon

Yet I want it

I need it

Need to know that peace

Peace with my body

Peace with my soul

Graceful as a bellydancer

Fluid and sweet

Like a ritual

Like heat

In my icy insides

Suffocated by the past

It eats away

My body, mind, soul

What will be left?

When the feast is through?

Demon teeth

Fangs cutting through

Like razor blades

Question all I know and care about

& future is an omnipresent glare

I will be nobody, nothing

So I wait

I remember the scars, the bleeding

Razors through my skin

The words cut me

So I cut myself

So hard

Inside the veil of life

All I saw was red

I wished I was dead 

I hope one day I will realize something beautiful

Within this protective shell

Of insecurity

Oh my Goddess

I need to dance!