September's Song

I never heard it

Even when she walked through my door

Leaves around me began to crumble

Fall like rain, like things that are dying slowly

Wither like my hopes and dreams

I closed my eyes in summer

Awakened to this

The nightmare cold I feel biting through the deceptive sunshine

The colours they are vibrant, but the edges decay

Through my kiss I soothe those little flowers, delicate and beautiful

Who die in a meadow near here

The river begins to bite, gone are the blessings of sun's warmth

Who sang a farewell in another life

All that's left are the notes

The echoes fills the wind, my restless heart will never be healed

Until my lover light comes back to me.

Rebirth

What I thought I was

It seems was not me

But a reflection of the illusion surrounding

So I could never see

Within my deep, dark heart

I always knew

Yet I believed the lies

Thrown in my face

Lies to cover what I am, who I am

If I had only known

Lover and monster

Woman and child

Humanity released tight hands around me

This is more real than anything I ever knew

My body is changing

My soul is rearranging, now that I know

The reflection staring back is the vessel

And the soul is infinite 

From the dawn of time I have wandered

Separated from my sisters

In agony

In torment

Wandering... alone

If I close my eyes I find them in blackness

Never remembering her screams

Her chains around my ankles, wrist and neck

This isn't love, its sacrifice with no gain

This is my rebirth

Slashing claws

Shining scales

Lethal fangs

Hunger for all that is intellectually stimulating.

Bloody and barely breathing.

Shame

I hide in this guise that is not me
Consumed in shame
I will never be free, from the thing that is me
The horror I feel from the reflection
It isn't my soul, my Self
Yet it is horrible
More sick than a prison for decaying bodies
This body is a prison for a decaying soul
If I close my eyes I'll never awaken
I hear the words that have been spoken
But this spirit within his already broken
A winged thing, a great one once
Fallen, from my own hatred of self
Cannot contemplate another day
Surviving this way
Unloved, untouched
I will cry hollow tears tonight
Until mother's pills set me free
Into spirit that is pure.

Sleep tight, lost lover

He is a disease of the mind

My alternative self

He is a king in the netherworld

Everything that is not mine

Reach out your arms and never hold me

All the lies you have told me

Your burial, coffin is ready

Hurry my lover
Black roses are fading

The snow is falling upon the frozen ground

Frozen like my heart, like everything that we were

Accursed am I, perhaps for all time

Will I ever be free from this hell?

The body is a cage for the soul

My soul cries for the blood the earth soaked up

The earth ate your life force, and then you did gasp for breath

Before your eyelids fluttered one last time

You are not immortal to me

You are dead in my heart

My dark, frozen heart

Like the tundra up North

It wanders the frozen wasteland like a wolf

I hunt for you.

Secret Silence

In the darkness she waits
Her secrets shroud in silence
You who know all reveal nothing
The one with answers is dead in the silence
She took them with her to the grave
Silent as a rock
You who are my ancestor, in the ground
One who I never met yet love, so dearly
I see myself in the pictures of you, your face so kind
Your spirit is so good
You are my angel, my blessing.

Let us meet in a dream

I do not know you my love

In the future perhaps, but that future is distant

Yet I love you with all my heart

My everlasting soul

In death I hope I find you

In life I hope I meet you

If God part us, we will make a new castle in the sky

The evil will be there but it will be our own

I will pray for you, I will never truly sleep until you are beside me

Until we meet again.

You twist my mind, play your games

You play with my fears, my hope, loves, dreams

You play every card but the one I hold

I hold it in a sweating palm

I am shaking my nerves are unbearable

Like this life that compresses my soul

Deflates my will

For I am shaped by the will of many

Who look at my bare soul and giggle.